November 13, 2020 - WASHINGTON - US President Donald Trump, speaking publicly for the first time since his apparent election loss, took to the podium this morning with a song, declaring in a deep baritone voice, "I won everywhere, Man! I won everywhere, Man!" His denial of election results went further, naming in a rapid-fire, monotone voice all of the polling places he believed he'd won. "I won in Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma..." the president trailed on for several minutes. It did not appear that he was aware certain places he named are not part of the United States and do not vote for President. In all, the president named ninety-one locations where he believed he had prevailed in the election, some perhaps large enough cities to sway the results, others tiny hamlets with insubstantial vote totals. Several Canadian locations and foreign countries made his list; it was not clear if the president was referring to absentee ballots mailed from those locations or if he truly believed there were US elections held there, which he had won.
On the heels of Trump's press conference, members of Johnny Cash's family spoke out claiming the president had plagiarized the late entertainer's words. "Just look at the list of places where Trump claims he won," said Johnny's son Green Cash on Twitter. "He lifted all those right from my father's famous song, word for word! La Paloma? Opelika? Is he serious? Did he really think we wouldn't notice?"
The singer's daughter Outta Cash threatened a lawsuit. In a Twitter reply to her brother, she stated, "You know, I've been out of cash my entire life. So if I could sue a rich man like Donald Trump and win, I might be able to change my name to Lotsa Cash." She said she did not inherit any riches from her father, as Johnny Cash donated his entire fortune to his foundation, Understand Your Man, which "helps women in struggling relationships learn to keep their big mouths shut," according to the organization's mission statement.
The president's defenders quickly pointed out that the election results have not yet been certified in Joe Biden's favor in the places where Trump is claiming victory. Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) stated, "You know, in Costa Rica they just found a bunch of ballots that were never counted. So until this all gets sorted out, President Trump has every right to continue his challenge." When it was pointed out that Costa Rica is not in the United States, Cornyn responded, "Costa Rica? Puerta Rica? What's the difference?" When it was also pointed out that Puerto Rico does not vote for President, Cornyn frustratedly threw up his hands and said, "Well there you have it. If their votes were counted, Trump would have won."
As reported here, the Cash family has previously expressed outrage at Donald Trump over his claims that his super powers to change the weather and the course of rivers were unique to him. Johnny's mother remarked today, "That bum! Once again he's riding on the coat-tails of my good boy. I bet when nobody else is looking, he probably plays with guns. What a loser!"
After his statement, the president took questions from the assembled press corps, but only responded to each question with a chorus of "I won everywhere, Man! I won everywhere, Man!" Among the questions: "What does 'breathing the mountain air' or 'crossing the deserts bare' have to do with the election results?" After multiple repeated choruses in response to each question, the gathered reporters seemed to give up delving any deeper into the president's claims of victory in specific locations. "Mr. Trump, as awesome as he is in almost every other way, is not a very good singer," admitted Fox News correspondent John Roberts rather sheepishly. "I don't know how much more we could take. So we just stopped asking."
Legal challenges in several states have revealed some evidence of several fraudulent ballots. The president's lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, echoed the president's words that a handful of dead people had voted in "Hennessey, Chicopee, Spirit Lake, Grand Lake, Devil's Lake, Crater Lake, for Pete's sake." The small number of disputed ballots falls very short of the 5 million votes by which Joe Biden carried the election. Nevertheless, the Trump team holds out hope of victory.
One victory the president can claim which is not in dispute is his success at making lifelong Democrats out of millions of American voters who have been turned off to the entire Republican party, due to Trump's demeanor and GOP leaders' appeasement of him. Only time will tell if the Republican party can recover from the four-year Trump experiment and ever again regain the White House or solid congressional majorities. It may be a very long wait. Fiscal conservatives fear their message of lower spending and a balanced budget falls on deaf ears, since their party was bullied by the White House in recent years to increase debt levels beyond all prior records. Moral and religious conservatives have long been aware that "family values" is a dead message as long as they support the most pro-gay US President in history. With true conservatives struggling for any defining message other than "Trump!" it will be difficult to change undecided minds that the Republican party deserves their vote. The real impact of Trumpism on America is sure to last much longer than the four or eight years of a presidential tenure.
(C) Copyright 2020. Reporting by Victor E. Mowery, Vaugan E. McAllory and Virgil E. Melanoma.
